Exec #1: Item six on the agenda: "The Meaning of Life" Now uh, Harry, you've had some thoughts on this. Exec #2: Yeah, I've had a team working on this over the past few weeks, and what we've come up with can be reduced to two fundamental concepts. One: People aren't wearing enough hats. Two: Matter is energy. In the universe there are many energy fields which we cannot normally perceive. Some energies have a spiritual source which act upon a person's soul. However, this "soul" does not exist ab initio as orthodox Christianity teaches; it has to be brought into existence by a process of guided self-observation. However, this is rarely achieved owing to man's unique ability to be distracted from spiritual matters by everyday trivia. Exec #3: What was that about hats again? Exec #2: Oh, Uh... people aren't wearing enough. Exec #1: Is this true? Exec #4: Certainly. Hat sales have increased but not pari passu, as our research... Exec #3: [Interrupting] "Not wearing enough"? enough for what purpose? Exec #5: Can I just ask, with reference to your second point, when you say souls don't develop because people become distracted..
If you had the choice to kill an 11 year old or a 20 year old, the only thing you knew about them were their ages, and you had to kill one of them, which one would you kill?
The car goes over the finish line - you know, that linear line that almost makes car racing more bearable to watch than watching paint dry on two turtles making whoopie on top of a sun bathing nun. Wrinkles. Gross. Anyway, the car goes over the finish line before the other cars, meaning that it receives the first place prize. "Whoopie," everyone thinks and does as this boring ass phenomenon reaches its end at last - but wait, what is this? People pause during their waist-to-waist sports in order to view this odd circumstance - it seems that a lima bean was the driver of the first place automotive. Now there is a dilemma. Do we award this lima bean the prize even though the yellowish-ewwy looking ball isn't human? If we allow this lima bean to accept this prize in this homosapian sporting event, what's to stop zebras, women, or sharks from competing in these events as well? Did I say women? I didn't mean that. Really. I meant dingo-eating dragons that can breathe out liquid nitrogen and the souls of penguins that were eaten by otters at the same time and have giant crazy straw horns growing out of their eyes that can use chop sticks to eat the traditional vietnamese noodle soup, pho, like no other. It's an easy mistake. During this much heated debate, the lima bean decided it had enough and committed suicide in front of national television by eating itself. It was a death of a truly violent nature involving a used plastic spork. Millions of children were excited at the sight and have replaced their usually play time routine of playing "cowboys and indians" to "let's stab ourselves with sporks and see how much flesh we can gnaw off before an authoritative figure comes and stops us." Since that day, the lima bean has become a hero of our time because it teaches us that although all men are created equal, other species will never be equal to us - and if they ever try to be, they should just die.
For as long as I can remember now I've had sounds emanating from my brain. Not voices or anything coherent, mere noises. As a logical and rational person I obviously attributed this to insekts, parasites that lie somewhere between organic and metallic, which find the moist hell of my mind a cosy place to inhabit. They are doing something in there, something obscene no less...
These noises vary greatly, most of the time I really assume they are bodily noise such as stomach grumbles, the brain meat is pulsating or something, it's probably coming from my sinuses. This doesn't explain all of the noises however, and some are obviously brain related. Sharp spikes of white noise whilst I'm sleeping that trigger my eyes to receive something akin to TV interference. Sonances that aren't easily explainable, not melodic per se but certainly unnatural that I've been consciously aware of hearing in my head without outside stimuli. Although saying all this, I've always been intrigued by how I can conjure whole pieces of music with all its polyphony and multi-timbral qualities intact in my head. This brain marvelling aside - I am still perturbed by the teratoid noises that often become more prevalent as I'm reaching that place close to unconsciousness.
Whilst this ordinarily would have me contemplating the solipsist significance of these noises, I am more concerned with what the insekts are up to. Whether this is in anyway linked to sporadic bouts of violent artistic expression I am uncertain. What I am sure of though is that it makes for awkward sleeping patterns... Blasted insomnia. If ever I start hearing words I'll seek medical help, or start my own religion, whichever is more convenient at the time. I'll let the incessant chittering of the insekts continue for now...
I was looking at my calander a while back, scheduling my Halloween events when I had an idea. I saw that there was going to be a Friday the 13th so I wanted to put on some sort event. That event turned out to be a Horror themed art show.
Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Nonstop phone calls, bugging artist for their peices, tranporting the art, blah blah. Then the gallery backed out because I didn't want to charge a cover. Seriously who pays a cover to get into an art show. Luckly my friend Chris found another one on short notice. Thanks again to the guys at BEEP BEEP for letting us have the space on such short notice and so CREEP CREEP was born.
It was fucking crazy. The gallery is really small, only one room but we packed the mother fucker out. You couldn't even move at one point. It was more of a kick of Halloween party than art show. I did the great gag where I had a friend blow my brains out all over the gallery window. Prior to the show I purchased blanks for my .38 and borrowed a kabuki pack from my friend at a special effect shop. At the height of the party we staged a fight where I was punching him in the face, he tells me to set down and shoots me in the head. I was in front of a live paing we were doing and it was suppose to go all over it but we put too much air in the tank so is splattered all over the window. Which turned out even better. Everyone thought it was real for a min even the guys brother which you can hear freaking out in the video that is to follow. The fight i snot on there and its too dark to see the splatter but you get the idea. One girl cried it was great. People are still talking about it. It was hard to keep it a secret. Only 4 people out of the 70 or so there knew about it. Things couldn't have gone better. We staied out to 5:30 partying afterwards. The next day I was part of two performances of a 50's style spookshow where afterwards we played a great print of the original Franenstein but more on that later.
Goodbye limbo, it was fun while it lasted. And it lasted a while – since the Middle Ages. The concept of limbo – the place where dead children go if they die without being baptised – has been abolished by Pope Benedict XVI.
Unlike purgatory, which according to official Roman Catholic doctrine is where you go if you die without quite being holy enough to enter heaven directly, limbo is a storage facility between heaven and hell where you go if you’re young enough not to have committed any sins yourself, but have not been purified of Original Sin.
Limbo has never had doctrine status, and the current Pope has never liked the idea. In 1984, when he was just plain old Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, he said of limbo: “Personally, I would let it drop, since it has always been only a theological hypothesis.”
As opposed to, say, the Virgin Birth, the Resurrection, the Kingdom of Heaven, and, indeed, the very notion of the soul, which are what? More than theological hypotheses? How can they be?
The Pope has already been asked to clarify the Church’s position on evolution after a cardinal wrote that the Church does not accept “neo-Darwinian dogma” despite it being based on overwhelming evidence.
I suppose it’s too much to expect the Pope to also reject the rest of his faith because they are no more than theological hypotheses.
all the beer and wine that anyone could ever drink.
PLease tell your friends and feel free to post this else where.
the next day we are putting on a 50's style spook show at the Plaza theater. The show will run about an hour and be followed up by a screening of the original Frankenstein. (brand new print)
So come on out. Doors at 9 special kids show at 1 that afternoon
I have been getting a lot of stuff done lately. I've organized all my old movie stills. I've organized all my DVDS and put some aside to put on Ebay/Amazon.(Over 200; will post about that soon). Selling all my old LP's as well. I've also finished this 6ft monstrosity that some would call art and I've cooked a new meal almost every day.
Sunday was the first time I've watched T.V. in over a week. Which is unusual for a person who normally watches at least 10 or so movies a week.
Still no word on the brat that took my Ipod.
I need a hair cut.
I need to find new people to trade movies with. I have 1000's and plenty of rare stuff too so if you or anyone you know is/would be interested. Let me know.
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